such post. The following words are carrying strength and will for
accepting some inevitable facts in life, even when we are feeling burned
out and like the whole world has fallen down in front of us.
post indirectly is about conflicts. A few days ago I was holding a
lecture about conflict to students, and I was talking about how
conflicts can be functional. They can be used for a progression in life,
for new knowledge and skills, for improving of a personality and
behaviour. And exactly that day I experienced the peak of one prolonged
conflict in my private life at the end of which I felt like all my
capacities were used, as the possibilities to do something concerning
this conflict. And then I wondered: “how to use this conflict for a
better future, when I`m feeling like I don`t have anywhere to go with
When it`s about conflicts, usually the only
acceptable solution that we see about it is cooperation or at least
compromise. In my situation I was feeling as if I was streaming exactly
towards that, and that I had used all my capacities to reach some
acceptable solution. However, I didn`t manage to reach it!
reach the cooperation in conflict, you need both sides for that.
Sometimes really only one side is right, and the other one is not seeing
things clearly. Sometimes both sides are right, but they don`t want to
sacrifice something of theirs. For me this was not the first time in
life that I felt that a big injustice was done to me, and that it wasn`t
appreciated all the things I had done even though I had tried
everything, and still wasn`t given the understanding, but got only the
accusations. After much effort and trying to show the other side that
they are not right concerning some things, I was just lightened with
that eureka lamps and I told myself: It`s not worth it! It`s simply not
worth it! I can stand on my head if I want to, but the other side will
still think that they`re right.As a psychologist this
kind of conclusion didn`t suit me, because I think that there`s always
some kind of solution. Yes, there is a solution in this situation also.
And that is to accept that we don`t understand each other and to move
on. Of course, there can always be a solution to go separate ways, but
when it`s about a person with whom we have or want to move on, sometimes
the only solution is exactly that – to move one, and leave the
injustice and bad feelings behind you.
It`s not easy.
Often all those bad emotions are coming back. Sometimes they just touch
you, sometimes they come back as a boomerang. Because, for leaving it
behind you also need both sides. However, there are no guarantees.
still feel some kind of bitterness towards the previous events, but I`m
feeling much better. When I realised that I`ve done everything I could.
When I realised that it`s just NOT WORTH IT!
Moje ime je Aleksandra. Ja sam majka i žena, psiholog i autor. Često mislim da nešto može bolje i lepše. Osim kada odlučim da uživam u trenutku baš onakvom kakav jeste. Jer, život je onakav kakvim ga mi napravimo!